People don't always have mustaches when you think they do.

A friend told me we were watching a secret movie last weekend. The only clues were "1970's" and "Mustache."

My first thought was John Cazale, Dog Day Afternoon.

"I was only in five movies, but they were all awesome."

She told me that was wrong. My next thought was Burt Reynolds, Smokey and the Bandit. OK, I actually thought Deliverance, but then I googled it, and saw that Burt was clean shaven.

Will someone please buy me a vest like that already?

She told me Smokey and the Bandit was wrong.  She also told me Sally Field was not a total looker in Smokey and the Bandit. Clearly, she was wrong, but this post is about mustaches, so you'll have to look that one up yourself.

Sally Field was hot. Believe it.

Tom Selleck is 80's. There was one Cheech movie in the 70's, so that could technically count. But then I got really excited when I thought my friend told me the movie was going to feature this:

Why do more people not go like this for Halloween? (Marcus, I'm looking at you.)

Sean Connery in Zardoz, although I think Zonad might be a better name. I was thoroughly disappointed when I discovered this was not actually the movie we'd be watching.

Instead, the movie we watched was this:

Which is pretty damn good, and features this guy:

Notice how I'm smiling? That's because I have a full beard.

Who may have once looked like my father once looked, but does not have a f---ing mustache.
But I guess that's OK, because actually, neither did this guy:

So there you have it.