This One's About Poop

That's right, I'm a white man in Africa, so what could be more relevant than a discussion of the consistency and frequency of my bowel movements? Actually, I'll spare you the details since there aren't any funny stories about shitting myself in public places or witnessing miracle-diarrhea that manages to travel out your butt and down your pant leg without actually hitting your pants. I just think I have giardiasis. It's not a big deal, and I've got some old flagyl I scored a while back, and I'm in way more pain from the two canker sores in my mouth. I'm just disappointed in my genetics that I'm not one of the lucky people that get to carry giardia lamblia around in their gut without getting symptomatic. Also having the herpes strain that urban legend says causes canker sores sucks too.

Anyway, I went to Sipi Falls in Uganda over the weekend. The three huge waterfalls are a beautiful sight, but the place is kind of touristy. The road up from the valley below is the best I've seen in Africa--complete with side-rails and drainage ditches--so it gets a fair number of wazungu, and everyone and their brother either just straight up begs for money or tries to become your guide to lead you around the area. Call me a jerk that hates children in the developing world if you want, but if you're wandering around by yourself on a road and you walk by somebody and say "is this the way to X?" and they say "yes" you do not owe that person money. I suppose if I'd gotten a guide then everyone else would've quit trying to become by guide, but then I would've had to go with a guide. And maybe I was especially tight-wad-ish over the weekend thanks to Ugandan currency coming in such large denominations. A Kenyan shilling will get you 25 Ugandan shillings, so everything costs thousands of shillings, and for some reason it just seems more important to save that extra thousand Ugandan shillings than forty measly Kenyan shillings.

I wonder if there's a research paper on behavioral economics somewhere in that idea or if I'm just crazy/grumpy from staying up too late and watching too much 24. I know that my just now starting to watch 24 is totally uninteresting to you, but bear with me--I just started liking Rage Against the Machine a few years ago, and I fell in love with Guns N' Roses two months ago. (Seriously, have you heard the Chinese Democracy demos? Amazing. But I really hope this belated love affair with harder bands doesn't mean I'll start liking Korn in the future.) I'll just say that I felt gypped that season 2 ends with the president falling ill to an assassin's germy handshake, and then season 3 takes place several years later and doesn't really incorporate the germy handshake. Did the writers think "Oh, this'll be cool, we'll make it 48 rather than just 24 and kill/injure the president," then over the summer they couldn't come up with a story line and just said screw it? But so you don't think I'm in a bad mood, one more thing: on my way down from the highest waterfall on Sunday I stumbled upon a Catholic church with some fantastic percussion/choir/traditional/gospel music being performed, so I took a seat in the back and had myself a good happy listen.

OK, now that I've bored you sufficiently, here's what you really came for: hard core nudity!

the main waterfall
banana slug
banana tree leaves
behind the second waterfall

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