Beer

MRB and I made beer at Matt's house. It was my first time. Here's how we did it.

1. Clean everything real well.

2. Buy grain.

3. Take a close-up of said grain.

4. Prove that since you're using both Belgian and German ingredients, you must really know what you're doing.

5. Get some yeast growing.

6. Melt some sugar.

7. Heat up water.

8. Put your filter ("false bottom") together so you can drain sugary water from the bottom.

9. Poor the hot water in and mix in your grains.

10. Repeatedly say "This smells like Grape Nuts!" Let sit for 90 minutes.

11. Poor out sugary stuff from the bottom via your false bottom while adding hot water on top.

12. Collect all the good stuff from the bottom. Use foil or something so you don't stir it all up when add hot water on top.

13. Boil it outside because people don't like Grape Nuts.

14. Skim the gross stuff off the top.

15. Add too many hops.

16. Add sugar.

17. Add some weird chemical that yeast like to eat.

18. Stop boiling, cool everything down.

19. Rehydrate even more yeast.

20. Siphon the wort into a carboy.

21. Add yeast. Take out your frustration on how little volume you got by shaking it all up.

22. Let it ferment for several weeks. (Run a tube from the carboy to let it off-gas, put the end of the tube under water to prevent creepies from crawling in.)

And that's it. Wait a few weeks, hope that you're lucky and the water you added at the end because you were pissed off about how little volume you got because you boiled on a really high flame was sterile, bottle or keg the stuff, and you've got great beer you made yourself! Good times. Thanks, MRB.